new haircut, new blog

I've been meaning to post this for a while: I started a new blog for my summer adventure with Michael (a blog that I'm comfortable sharing with a much larger group of people).

Even though we haven't left, I've already posted some stuff to it (including the haircut video)

Here is the URL: travelingcomrades.blogspot.com


Whenever I want to write about anything slightly-more intimate or not-at-all trip related, I'm going to post to this blog, but most of the things that I write for the next couple months will probably go onto the other blog - and Michael will be posting to it as well, so that should be really cool.

I'm so excited about this trip...

Babysitting

I spent most of this week babysitting, which was a very fun way to make some money before my trip.

fuji

Right now, most of my friends are finishing spring quarter... even though I've been on a break from school, I am proud to announce that I have finally finished winter quarter!

There were two projects lingering from my art class with Gail, leaving me with a dreaded "incomplete" instead of a letter grade - until recently.

this was my final project for the class

I filmed it at an amazing place called Peninsula School,
with the help of Alda (on the right), Annie (on the left), Ben&Keenan (who loaned me the video equipment), and especially the kids.

After shooting the footage, I emailed my friend Michael about music. He said he only had one song recorded, and he attached it to his email.

I had never heard the song he sent (fuji), but it turned out to be perfect.

Blue rectangles in the hallway

The house where I live is filled with art.Most of it was there before I moved in,
and I've never met most of the artists.

I'm moving out very soon, so I decided to make a contribution to the house... a parting gift, I suppose.

Basically, I painted blue rectangles in the hallway.

This is what they look like:

Yes, I know... They don't even look like murals.

In fact, they're just blue rectangles, and most of the people walking by won't give them a second thought.

They're more than that to me, though...
I think of them as frames for future paintings.

When I walk through the hallway, I slide my fingertips across them, wondering when someone will see them as canvases, and I'm looking forward to this stranger's inspiration.

And this day will definitely come.
Some day, some stranger will paint on my blue rectangles.

It will make me a little bit sad, because they'll no longer be how I made them, with endless possibilities.
Instead, they'll be the platform for one person's art...

When that day comes, I think I'll be ready for it, but not today.

Today, the platform itself is art.

But to you, they might be just rectangles, so it's time to finish my postmodern rambling...

I painted blue rectangles in my house.
I spent an afternoon and an evening on them.
To most people, they are just rectangles.
But to someone, they will be frames.
One day, these frames will hold that person's art,
But for now, the frames are the art.

Godtube update

Godtube friends: 17
Messages sent: 187
Messages received: 265
Videos posted: 6
Times viewed: 11155

(and no, I didn't accidentally hit the keypad an extra time)

I've poured a lot of energy into Godtube, and I'm not always sure where it's going... but when I check back every day or so, my videos have been watched about 50 more times... it's crazy.

The attention hasn't been completely positive for me, but the good experiences have definitely outweighed the less-good.

My proudest accomplishment, so far, is the opportunity to meet 2 guys that I've been corresponding with for about a month.

Their names are Sam and Jim, and I don't think they know each other.

• Sam is a little older than me, and even though he really struggles with some of the same questions that I do (really struggles), he's come out on the other side - he considers himself a Christian still, and I respect that.
• And Jim is an Author and counselor in his 40's, and he and I talk about lots of things. Jim is very comfortable with not knowing the answers to all my questions, and he's also comfortable with me not really knowing the answers to his. I really appreciate that.

More than anything, though, I just really enjoy talking to Sam and Jim. They don't respond harshly when I ask difficult questions, and the slim chance that I'll ever see them in "real life" makes me comfortable enough to ask those questions.

My time on Godtube has definitely been interesting, and I don't intend to end it any time soon. I might create a blog to discuss this sort of thing, because a smaller group is better for discussing intimate things.

summer plans

In the last month I've tried to compose several posts, with topics ranging from the Eucharist to the antichrist, but I'd rather not turn this blog into a platform to discuss those types of things... maybe another day/another blog.

For now, I want to give a brief outlook of my summer plans... If you know anything about me, you'll know that I don't really enjoy playing the catch-up game, so I'm going to try to make this as quick as possible.

here we go:

My housing will be up in a couple of weeks, but I'm not returning to Texas until late June, so I'll be living on the grace of loved ones and working in the city until then.

After finishing work, I'll spend a weekend in Portland with my good friend Jon (pictured), and hopefully we'll shoot a movie.


I'll then go home for 2 weeks or so, giving and receiving an abundant number of hugs... These will potentially be my favorite 2 weeks of the season.

Michael (my younger brother) and I will then depart to Europe: 10 days in Denmark, 14 in Norway with the extended Rogers Clan, 14 more with the two of us, followed by 14 days in Norway with only strangers to love (and by whom to be loved).

This trip is going to be amazing, and Michael and I will both pee our pants at every leg.

I'm hoping to shoot a film while there as well, with minimal funding and maximal care... and hopefully I can see it through to the end.

At this point, it will be September.

While I've been planning to return to Stanford for the fall, I'm thinking that I might rather create a cave for myself; I could then crawl inside it to try and edit 2 films before Thanksgiving - this is called "planning on top of planning", because the footage I want to edit doesn't even exist yet... I have not proven myself to be very good at this sort of planning, so I'm not really sure how to approach this fall.

I think I'll try to approach it carefully.

So that is my summer into fall (Lord willing).

Whew

It's an amazing life, I know, but please don't succumb to the temptation to romanticize it - I will, for you, try to resist the temptation to make it sound too romantic. I'm trying to make the most of the life that I was given - the thing that makes this task difficult, for me, is that I have been given a lot of life to live.

recent art

Although lately my thoughts have been consumed by godtube.com (bordering on compulsion), and my time has been consumed by work (mostly with Bolo),

I have managed to make a little bit of art.

The first is the finished version of my refrigerator project for my Art and Biology class (not one of the 2 projects that would satisfy my 'incomplete' in that class... Gail, I promise I'll finish those projects before June 6)



The voice is Teva's - one of the kids that I babysit - and yes, that is his refrigerator,
and most of the pictures come from a 2-day door-to-door adventure with my friend Audrey ("May I take a picture of the inside of your refrigerator?").

About 1/3 of the pictures come from emails, though, and I really appreciate everyone who participated - Hopefully, if you watch the video enough times, you can see your reefer in its .08 sec of fame!

Now for the second project - I'm really proud of this one.



This piece was titled "predominantly mail art," and it took place at An Art Affair at Stanford last weekend.

During the festival, over 20 people wrote messages on postcards that I made, and I mailed every one of them last Wednesday....

Here is what the postcards looked like.

The bummer moment happened at the post office when I was mailing them.

Saray, the woman at the post office, told me that they weren't "standard postcard size." She placed them onto a measuring diagram and showed me that the minimum size is 3-and-a-half by 5 (most of my postcards were about 3x5).

"...Can I just buy the stamps and try to send them anyways?" (it's not like I had anything better to do with them).
"Yes, but I can't guarantee they'll be mailed. Just put them in the mailbox outside, because I'm not supposed to handle anything that doesn't qualify."

I bought the stamps and sent the postcards... we'll see if/when they ever arrive.

Moral: if you ever do a postcard-writing campaign, make sure you cut the postcards at 3-and-a-half by 5, at least.

work

I've been working for George in San Francisco for the last 3 days. Yesterday and today I worked with a guy named Bolo, and he and I have already had some really interesting conversations.

I took this picture yesterday (the day that I met Bolo).


The mirror came from a bathroom that Bolo and I gutted, and I saved it for my friend Deb to make a mosaic.

godtube.com

I still haven't found a job yet (I promise I'm looking), but I did find something that could potentially occupy just as much of my time...

It's called Godtube, and yes, it's real.

When I discovered the site, this was the first video that I watched:


It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

The crying half of me is the part that is sad that Christians are still working to create their own version of "the media", which isolates them from so many interesting ideas that they could interact with (not to mention the people behind those ideas).

So I decided to post a video.

I decided that, since Godtube is an interactive web space, my voice could have a place in it. The video is very short, and it has been very well-received. I am trying very hard to stay away from controversies (like evolution), but I'm also trying not to dilute my feelings toward Christianity.

Curtis Steven and Michael: some of the things that I say might come as a surprise. I really don't know, though, since we haven't had too many conversations about this sort of thing. Maybe after this, we can have more of them.

I posted the video yesterday, and today it's on the Featured Videos page (it's already been viewed over 500 times).



I was encouraged by the response I received, so today I posted another video... I'm a little nervous about what will happen if/when the (extended) Rogers Clan discovers my role as the "token nonbeliever." I hope, though, that they would be comfortable enough to approach me about it if/when they do.

At the very least, I think that they would pray for me, and I always appreciate people's prayers.

night of the roundtable

Tonight I went to a roundtable discussion for hospice volunteers in the area. Fifteen of us showed up, with fourteen being between 30ish and 70ish and female.

I didn't do very much of the talking.

About an hour into the discussion, George arrived - he's about 40ish with a mustache. We walked to our cars together after the thing was over, and he told me that he is a chiropractor who likes to go camping. He was really nice with lots of charisma, and he was really impressed that I go to Stanford.

I told him actually I don't really go to Stanford right now.

"I totally understand what that's all about," and he told me about when he took some time off too.
"Yeah," and I nodded with my mouth open.
"Well, I'll see you at next month's discussion," and he turned to get into his truck.
"I'll see you at next month's discussion."

potential employers

Today I spoke with Jack in New Orleans. Jack is working on a remodel job, and I connected to him through my friend Maggie.

In my month-or-so of looking for a construction job, Jack is the only person who has offered me a real job (outside of Joe, in Tyler: "Y'better git to Texas where you belong")

Today I told Jack that I'm probably not going to accept the job. He understood and wished me the best of luck.

I got off the phone and I went inside to see Patti. After a few hours, I received a call from Bob Schmidt in San Francisco. I stepped outside to answer it.

Bob told me that he didn't have any work, but that he would give me George's number.

I called George, and George said that he doesn't either. I should just check back with George (and Bob) periodically, and eventually something will come up. That's what I'm going to do.

Then I went back inside to continue my conversation with Patti. She asked me about my call, so I told her about Bob and George.

Patti reminded me that her husband, Ted, also works in construction: he's a finish carpenter.

Jack, Bob, George, Ted | Bob, George, Ted (and also Joe, in Texas)

I don't think I should have too much trouble finding a job in the next few weeks.

It's the committing to one that is quickly becoming the issue.

So... is this vain?

I figured that if I was going to start a blog,
I would need to start with this question,
in part because it's the question that's kept me from blogging for years,
and in part because (if I really get into this whole blogging thing),
I might not get to seriously ask this question ever again...

Is blogging vain?

Mark Twain said that the offspring of riches are
"Pride, Vanity, Ostentation, Arrogance, Tyranny."
That sounds like America to me.

Lately I've spent a lot of time waiting
for the day when this whole tech-era comes crashing down,
When all of us arrogant fools will finally get what we deserve, and
when I get to do my part in paying for all of this pride and vanity and everything.

but it didn't come yesterday, and it doesn't seem so be coming today, so maybe I'll just start journaling... for the sake of journaling, I guess, but with an "audience". Maybe that will help me deal with all of this...

Right now I'm in the craziest, most open-ended time of my life that I've ever seriously dealt with. I'm not taking classes and I don't have a job; all of my belongings are in my car, and I'm not sure where I'm going to sleep tonight.

As I begin to sort these sort of things out, I thought it might be nice to blog myself through it, but I keep running up against this vanity question.

So yeah, maybe it is vain, but maybe I'm vain too. Maybe you're vain, too, and the only reason you're reading this is because you're trying to see yourself in me, or maybe you think I'll give you a shout-out or something...

Mom, I'm writing this mostly for you. I know that you want to support me in everything I do, but that you're nervous about how this will turn out. I'm kinda nervous about it, too, so maybe this blog will help us to be nervous about it together, instead of me trying to comfort you or you trying to comfort me, while we both are feeling a little uncomfortable to ourselves.

Or maybe that's just me, and maybe I'm reading you wrong. Either way, this is kind of like creative writing, and you have always loved reading the things that I write, so I hope that you can enjoy reading this, too, and I really hope that it can help both of us make sense of where this is all headed.

So, in a big way, that's where I am today, and I hope that you can enjoy reading it. I really do think it'll turn out ok, so it just might be a nice happy ending for all of us - especially considering this morning.
I'm house-sitting for the weekend, and it's the view that I saw when I woke up.

It kinda makes me feel a lot more comfortable with all of this uncertainty and stuff.


And maybe it'll all come crashing down tomorrow, and maybe we'll go into nuclear war. Maybe the Big One will finally hit California, letting everybody know that the whole Information Age was much more fragile than anyone had really expected... even so, I think I'll be able to look fondly back on this blog from the day before.